Friday, January 30, 2009
Hmmm...
Well - I am sitting here in my dorm room watching a movie (The Family Stone), and looking out the window at the people walking by with their school books and joking smiles. I see myself when I look out the window, but I also realize that I am not really here at all. During this time of transitioning back into life on campus with the caf. food and the routines has been more difficult than initially expected. I am thankful for the difficulty, but it is simultaneously...well - just that - difficult. I realize that I am a dreamer. A friend told me this the other day, and I have heard it before, but that is the truth. I am a dreamer. I dream a lot, and I dream big. I also know that I want to pursue my dreams, and that I never ever want to settle. I guess ambition accompanies dreaming, and I think I like the combination. As I sit here trying to think of where I am at this moment in time, I do not really have an answer. I know now that I love traveling. I know that I love meeting people from different places and making friends from around the world. I know now that I don't like everyday routines, and that not knowing what each day will hold is an excitement that gives me an incredible high (maybe I'm easy to please). I know that I love realizing God is wherever I go, even thousands and thousands of miles away from this place. I know that I love cities and being able to walk "just three blocks that way" to whatever location I'm seeking. I know that I love taking pictures and having 'wow' moments when I really do not know what else to say. I know that I love helping people, even if the only thing I do is give them a reason to smile. I know that I like putting myself out there and taking big leaps even if the initial jump is scary. I am here right now, in my dorm room, looking out the window at the people walking by with their school books and joking smiles. I am here right now, but I will not always be right here. I am here right now, and even if I find being here right now difficult, I know God will see me through, and that everything is okay. So, even though I want to go, even though I want to run, I'll stay right here, for this time, for this season, and smile knowing that I am a dreamer, and that I will pursue my dreams.
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2 comments:
Insightful post-- I say continue to hold onto those dreams. As I have grown older and added more commitments and complexities, I miss those days of being able to consider life’s seemingly endless possibilities.
I also think the term “dreamer” with its negative connation can be applied unfairly to someone. A more appropriate term would be “reflective.”
In your post, you discuss seeing other students walking with humorous expressions and realize that being an undergrad is only for very short time. You list specific things that you like including traveling, helping others, and walking to where you need to be. You mention that you dislike routines and imply that you don’t enjoy waiting for your future.
Yet in the end, you are able to connect all of these thoughts, hopes, fears, and dreams back to a trust in God—-grounded in the promise that He has big plans for you. I would argue that these thoughts are not of an unfocused dreamer, but the result of thoughtful reflection. What a valuable skill to have—-one that most folks are never able to develop.
Confucious stated: “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and, third by experience, which is the bitterest.”
The next time someone calls you a “dreamer,” I would say, “No, I am simply a reflective thinker.”
Wow--nice to see you again Kait. Thanks for stopping by my blog a few months ago. I hope you have been able to pursue some of those dreams that you used to write so eloquently about.
If you ever are interested in writing a guest post over at my blog, I think your insights would be well received. My email is theslamdunktrove@gmail.com
Enjoy your week!
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